Written by A Shy Lolita
Lolitas aren't always nice. But then again, does any fashion subculture exist where every single person who wears it, is nice 24/7? Of course not! Every clique, social scene and community has it's nice, and not-so-nice members. As cliche as some members of the fashion circle may be, there are always going to be ones who go against the grain. So how can one avoid those lolitas in the community who may not be the nicest people on earth?
Keep your life (semi) private. If you have a
myspace,
facebook or
livejournal account, you can easily make your photos available to friends only. If you choose to add people you trust, and it will be less likely that your images or written words will show up on other websites. Friends-only posts can be also helpful if you want to try a daring look or ask a question about something that might embarrass you. But you must always remember that no matter what precautions you may take, anything you put on the internet can be found.
Do some research before posting in a public space. Make sure you look through archives and search for answers before making a post - especially if you are posting in a high profile community like
EGL. Regular posters get tired of seeing the same questions asked time after time, and often tend to leave snarky remarks to the person asking the question. You can generally find what you are looking for with a simple search on
google,
EGL or
flickr. Bringing up already-been-discussed topics is not the way to win people over.
Be helpful and kind. Even when you don't like someone's outfit, or think they need to do something differently, say it in the nicest possible way. This applies for both online and offline conversations. Lolitas tend to discuss meet-ups and local members after the fact, so if you want to make friends you should treat others as you like to be treated in return. Learn the difference between constructive criticism and just plain rudeness. Don't write off someone just because they're not wearing brand or you think they don't suit lolita. The next day they might be wearing an outfit you love, and you'll be sorry you initially snubbed them!
Now I'm not saying that all lolitas should be the best of friends, hold hands and sing coombya - I just think there are some small changes individuals can take in order to have a happier lolita community.
(Image by
Chu)
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